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Audrey Caylin: You'll Never Know

Saturday, February 18, 2017

You'll Never Know

You'll never know.

What am I talking about?

Anything, anything in your life right now. What is it you really want to know, but are too afraid to find out? What is it you're afraid of finding? The truth? Why is it scary?

This has been on my mind so much lately. We're always afraid to know about something. Maybe if we got into that program we wanted to get into, if our grades were what we hoped, or if our novel turned out how we wished it would. Maybe we're afraid to know if it will rain on our perfect day tomorrow.

Maybe we're afraid to know what God wants us to do with our lives.

We're afraid to question what we're doing with our lives. We just want to sit right here, all comfy cozy.


We want everything to stay just as it always has been. Because there's that tipping point, where you leave the comfortable and risk that feeling for something greater. Something blurry, a spark in the night, a flash in the dark. Maybe only you see it, but you go for it.

Or you don't. Most people don't.

They like that nice little world of knowns and straight paths. But the truth is, they're probably wondering late into the night "what would happen if I left this place? Would things get better and brighter, or would they get worse?"

They will never know unless they try.

You're never going to know if being a doctor is for you until you try. You're never going to know if you can be a novelist until you try to write a novel. Just like I was never going to know if I wanted to be a professional dancer if I didn't get a taste of that life. And if you do get a taste of that life, and it hits you like the sky is falling, you end up back a square one.

Square one. Terrifying, right? Everyone is afraid of square one.

But square one is actually pretty cool. It's like hitting rock-bottom--the only way to go is up (yes, I took that from a Disney movie). You have millions of choices, so many things to do now that that thing you were chasing is gone.

Some people stay in this place, forever dazed by all the possibilities of life, afraid to try one for fear it will be the wrong one. Maybe they're waiting for a booming voice from Heaven to command them, "Thou shalt become an Olympic runner."

That voice is not going to come, at least probably not like that.

It's going to be quiet. Really quiet. Trust me. The only thing you're going to hear at first is the silence. Then, you're going to hear something, a little nudge, a whisper, a tiny urge in a direction. Will you give in? Where is it taking you?

You won't know until you follow it. Would you rather live the rest of your life wondering about it, or go and run hard after it? And even if you fall, then you'll know that you have to keep running hard after the next thing, and the next, and the next. And God might keep slamming all the doors shut in your face, but eventually, you're going to find an open door.

It's like standing in a maze, all the possible escape routes glaring at you. You've got to get out. Maybe you can speculate which one might take you out, or you can start running. Maybe running doesn't sound good. But you don't have to do it madly. Just. Get. Moving.

So that thing. The answer you're afraid to discover. The choice you're afraid to make. The opportunity you're afraid to take. Probably against the inner urges that tell you to do it, the one you ignore because you're afraid. Just do it. Try.

Else you'll never know.


Audrey Caylin

And that was me getting back into my vague posts about life, trying out new fonts, and experimenting with Canva XD Have you ever had to do something terrifying to chase after your dream?



At February 18, 2017 at 5:41 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is such a gorgeous and motivational post, Audrey! I'm struggling a lot now in planning to write this new first draft of mine, but your post has encouraged me to think positively and just try out because in all honesty, I'll never know how it will turn out if I don't write it myself! <3

- Andrea at A Surge of Thunder

At February 18, 2017 at 8:08 AM , Blogger Karyssa Norton said...

You are so right! Especially right now, I'm struggling to understand what God wants me to do, where He wants me to go from this point in my life. And it's always good to be reminded that I'm not the only one. :) Thank you, Audrey. I needed this post. :D

At February 18, 2017 at 8:17 AM , Blogger Marrok Macintyre said...

Another great post Audrey! I can't really say I was so afraid I couldn't act, it would have been more like a momentary slow down before I speeded up again. But I guess what could be considered terrifying about one of my dreams is landing without a parachute (Yes I want to jump out a plane and land without one. It's crazy but I've seen it done, somewhat, before) or getting eaten :D I think I'm giving too much info so I'll stop. But nice work on your post!

At February 18, 2017 at 8:25 PM , Blogger Jessica said...

I appreciated this post, Audrey! It's so true - we expect God to do His part and show us His will, but we don't like to do our part of moving forward..

Also, I think this is the first time I've commented here, so I just wanted to say: you have a lovely blog! Keep up the good work! :)

At February 19, 2017 at 10:46 AM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

Thank you so much, Andrea! Starting is always so hard -- it's that first step that takes the most courage and strength. But after that, you get momentum and realize it's not so hard after all.

I'm so glad this post helped!


At February 19, 2017 at 10:46 AM , Blogger Micaiah Saldaña said...

I love the post! =) Just get moving... *hurries away to do that*

Oh, and you've got a new beta reader. =) I cannot WAIT to start reading!

At February 19, 2017 at 10:50 AM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

I know. Sometimes it's so hard to hear God's voice, and we're so afraid of taking a step in the wrong direction that we just stand, waiting for Him to tell us what to do when He really wants us to start walking so He can guide us! I'm still trying to trust Him and step out in faith when I have no clue what to do myself. I hope things go well for you!

Thank you :)

At February 19, 2017 at 10:51 AM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

Alright. I can sort of see that XD It would be super cool!

I'm glad you enjoyed the post! :D

At February 19, 2017 at 10:55 AM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

That is absolutely true, especially when we're afraid to start moving forward. It takes even more faith, but I think the rewards are even greater.

Thank you! I'm glad you stopped by :)


At February 19, 2017 at 10:57 AM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

*starts moving with you* just keep moving, just keep moving, just keep moving... ;-)

Eeeep! Thank you! I'm super excited to share it and get your feedback! :D

At February 21, 2017 at 10:19 AM , Blogger Savannah Grace said...

OH GRACIOUS, AUDREY <3. I needed this post so much (and somehow I'm really late to read it - oops). THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts with us! This post was so brilliant and beautiful.

~ Savannah

At February 21, 2017 at 4:58 PM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

Aww, thank you so much, Savannah! I'm glad you stopped by <3

At February 22, 2017 at 12:36 PM , Blogger Katie Grace said...

Eeep yes I totally agree with this post. I'm a bit nervous pursuing this dream of being an author since there are so many doubts. But I feel like I'm meant for this, and as long as I do everything with Him, I'll do an okay job, I think. :)

Thank youuu for your pretty words. <3

katie grace
a writer's faith

At February 22, 2017 at 6:01 PM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

I totally agree. I think with any dream there's always doubts of "is this right? is this right?" Then I think "well, maybe it isn't..." But then doors keep opening and closing and I think I see God's will through a few of them, and no matter what's in the way, I have to run after those.

"But I feel like I'm meant for this, and as long as I do everything with Him, I'll do an okay job, I think." Wow. I love that. It's so beautiful.

Keep dreaming! God's got you! :)


At February 22, 2017 at 11:38 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

I always need this reminder. For me, I'm always so scared to get out of my comfort zone and try things because I'm afraid of failing, of not being able to do it, of not being good enough. And I think we all need that reminder sometimes that it's ok to try, even if success isn't guaranteed. Because after all, what is? I read this great quote somewhere that said basically "If you say you can or you say you can't, you are right." Thank you so much for the reminder today!

At February 23, 2017 at 9:44 AM , Blogger Savannah Grace said...

This was amazing, Audrey - thank you so much for sharing! It's always so hard for me to go out of my comfort zone - but I'm learning that it's important ;).

Also - I wanted to say that I'm really sorry I couldn't beta your story. I wanted to, but I'm low on time lately and all the things I've taken onto myself are starting to stress me out. Just wanted to let you know ;).

~ Savannah

At February 23, 2017 at 11:40 AM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

I know! My inner perfectionist is always telling me that as well. It's a step of faith to do something out of your comfort zone, as God's power is made perfect in weakness. And that's an awesome quote!

Thanks for reading!

At February 23, 2017 at 11:43 AM , Blogger Audrey Caylin said...

Thank you, Savannah!

That's totally fine! I understand completely. I'm pretty in the stress-zone right now as well, as I've had (and still do :P) way too many deadlines this month. It's good to take care of yourself and know when you can't take any more on.

Let's hope next month is a little less hectic! ;-)



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